Shadwell Farm will sponsor a "Best Turned Out Award" for each race on today's Keeneland card.  A $500 cash prize will be given to the GROOM of the best turned out horse.
    When word of this hit Churchill Downs, half the horsemen on the grounds turned in their trainer's license to return to grooming careers.
    Mike "Dirt" Bell looked for his sports coat for hours and hours.  He finally found it wrapped up in an old oat sack in the bottom of a tack truck.  He immediately rushed it to the dry cleaners but was told it would take until next Thursday to remove all the dirt and wrinkles.
Mitch Shirota has invested $29.75 to rent a tuxedo and will "hustle" around the Keeneland receiving barn to bring horses to the paddock for ship-in trainers.

    We are pleased to report that Rogers Beasley and his family are back from a frightful trip abroad.
    Apparently, sometime after the Keeneland September Yearling Sale, Rogers Beasley and members of his family went on a vacation to the lovely resort town of Istanbul, Turkey.
    Rogers had gone on the trip with his wife, mother, and mother-in-law.
    Everything was going great until their plane landed in Istanbul.  Rogers Beasley, his wife, mother and mother-in-law were detained by customs officials in Turkey, when a check of their luggage produced a large plastic bag of "official" Kentucky Bluegrass that Beasley was trying to smuggle into the country.  Mr. Beasley was trying to sneak the bluegrass into Turkey to give to former Lane's End Farm stallion, Manila as a treat.
    Rogers Beasley, his wife, mother, and mother-in-law were detained by Turkish authorities for 48-hours while the bluegrass was tested.

    Apparently, Turkish officials smoked up the whole bag of bluegrass.  When none of the customs officers got "high" from smoking the bluegrass, Beasley, and his wife, mother and mother-in-law were all permitted to enter the country in good standing.  When this publication contacted Mr. Beasley about this story he hung up on us.

    We have just received great news concerning our legal woes with Don "Hee Haw" Alvey.
    Injun Chuck no longer owes Hee Haw the $75,000 he was awarded in Jefferson Circuit Court last May.
    We now owe, pending appeal, the $75,000 judgement to bankruptcy court.
    That's right, ol'Don done went and took Chapter 7 and turned in the $75,000 for his creditors to fight over.
    But let's face it, that ain't news on the racetrack.  Hee Haw has been borrowing money and not paying it back for many moons.
    Real news would be if Hee Haw borrowed money from someone and then paid it back.  We don't hear too many of those stories.
    On top of the folks at the racetrack Hee Haw has stiffed, you can now add American Express, Circuit City, The University of Louisville School of Dentistry ($220) and numerous financial institutions to the list.
    Oddly enough, while Injun Chuck ain't no economist, we think we know why Hee Haw went "belly up".
    According to Bankruptcy Court documents, among Hee Haw's assets, he valued his wardrobe of clothes at $200.
    In his monthly expenditures, he listed his dry cleaning bill at $120 per month.  You figure it out!

John T. L. Jones, Jr.  (606) 299-0473
General Manager    Fax:  (606) 299-1259
Allied Forces  $5,000
Confide  $5,000
Evansville Slew  $2,000
Favorite Trick  $30,000
Gentlemen  $30,000
Irgun  $2,000
Is It True  $8,500
Lasting Approval $6,500
Miswaki  $40,000
Nureyev  Private
Phone Trick  $30,000
Salt Lake  $20,000
Saratoga Six  $5,000
Talkin Man  $5,000
West By West  $12,500
Lasting Approval seasons live foals guarantee payable OCTOBER 1 of year bred.  All other seasons are live foal guarantee and payable SEPTEMBER 1 year bred.

1^st  Arjun  2^nd  Miracle Dancer
Loser's List:  Proper Beau.

1^st  Fit To Party  2^nd  Burning Marque
Loser's List:  Hurricane Center

1^st  Must Be A Lady  2^nd  Turning Point
Loser's List:  It's a Girl

1^st  Pay Zone  2^nd  Williams News
Loser's List:  Rabi(IRE)

1^st  Itsy Bitsy Betsy  2^nd  Freshbroom
Loser's List:  Melody Maker

1^st  John Paul  2^nd  Lac Grand
Loser's List:  French Bayou

1^st  Garbu  2^nd  Joe Who
Loser's List:  Delay of Game

1^st    Perfect Sting  2^nd  On A Soapbox
Loser's List:  Tout Charmant

1^st  Go To War  2^nd   Fairy Flyer
Loser's List:  Pink Hotel

    Horsemen from coast to coast are buzzin' over the Country and Bea Roberts' dispersal sale coming up on Sunday, November 7^th, the first day of the Keeneland November Breeding Stock Sale.
    Whether you are looking for horses ready to run or well-bred broodmares in foal to many of American's greatest sires, this sale is for you.
    The Country Roberts dispersal consists of 85 broadmares, 6 weanlings by Judge T.C. and approximately 96 critters that make up the powerful Country Roberts' racing operation.
    For a complete list, including pedigrees and race records, check out www.countryroberts.com on the Internet.
  For more information on the mares and weanlings, contact Alex Rankin at Upson Downs Farm at (502) 228-6934.  For further information on the racin' critters, contact migratory bird murderer, Charles Bodine at (502) 648-4181.

    Brian McCarty and every one at Malone's are very proud of the fact that they have become the #1 place for steaks in Lexington and all of Central Kentucky.
    The local racing community has really taken to Malone's because every time Injun Chuck goes in the joint we see nothin' but owners, breeders, trainers and one extra large Sallee Van executive named, Don "Moon" Gamble.
    To get to Malone's just take New Circle Road to Tates Creek and you will be two furlongs from the Lansdowne Shops where Malone's is located.  With so many people in town for the Keeneland Races, parties of five or more should definitely call ahead for reservations (606) 396-7500.

    This is the best thing to happen to Lexington, Kentucky since Sheikh Mohammed got into the horse business.
    Joan Desadora, owner of the Parting Glass Irish Pub in Saratoga Springs, New York has recently opened the Parting Glass II at Harrodsburg Road and Layne Allen Drive (in the old "Shooters" location).
    For those of you who have been to Saratoga, we don't need to tell you.  For those of you who haven't, the Parting Glass is, plain and simple, the best place to go have a good time--period.
    Lexington's Parting Glass will offer the same great beers from around the world as well as a great food menu--including Injun Chuck's favorite, french fried sweet potatoes.
    The Parting Glass II, it just opened on October 1^st and its already Lexington, Kentucky's #1 watering hole.  Check it out.  (606) 278-0815.

    Winner of last Friday's Morven Stakes at the Meadowlands, Brilliant Deniro is the 1^st stakes-winner from the 1^st-crop of Vinery stallion, De Niro.